Abuse happens in all walks of life, for all types of reasons.  Circumstances of abuse often start small and grow in intensity and frequency. Remember, abuse is never your fault. However there are key things you should watch out for to help keep yourself, and your children, out of harm’s way.

No one starts out thinking they will end up in an abusive relationship.  If you feel like you may not be in a healthy or safe relationship, there is help available.  

How do i know if i am in an Abusive Relationship?

 Relationships can often start off great and it is difficult to see the things that may not be healthy. Some abusive behaviors start gradually and make you question your own judgment.  Always trust your instincts.  If you aren't sure if you're in an abusive relationship, have a look at the checklist below (from "Making Changes, 9th Edition" from the Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women):

You may be in an abusive relationship if Your partner:

• gets jealous when others are around

• destroys, or threatens to destroy, your possessions

• uses put-downs, name-calling, or threats

• makes you choose between your friends/family and your partner

• blames you when things go wrong

• pushes you

• hits you

• threatens to take your children

• hits the walls

• yells at you

• harms, or threatens to harm, your pet

• threatens to harm your family members or friends

• threatens suicide or self-harm

If you feel you have to:

 • ask permission to spend money or go out

• take the blame when things go wrong

• “make things right” just for your partner

• do what your partner wants

• make excuses for your partner’s behavior

If you feel:

• afraid to make decisions for fear of your partner’s reaction or anger

• isolated from friends, family, and activities

• afraid to express your own opinions or say “no”

• afraid to leave your partner 

•forbidden to work or make money.

*Food for thought: It is a misconception that the abusive person has no control over their behavior when things get out of hand.  Perhaps he is raging or yelling, physically abusive during an explosive incident.  Does he have control?  Ask yourself, "Would he stop abruptly if his boss or the police walked in?"  If so, he has control over his actions.  

Answering yes to any number of these questions may indicate that you are in an abusive relationship. 

Get help now. Call our Crisis Line at 902-752-0132 or 1-888-831-0330

http://women.gov.ns.ca/content/making-changes-9th-edition